Days of the crowded sex-free bed

We went from a week of forced separation while birdman was away at a concert to a week of forced separation while the children see how much space they can create between us in bed.

We have had three false start nights. They go something like this... First stumble through dinner and the evening routine. Take a few hours to settle all the children in their beds. Take a scant hour to try to reconnect and get adult things going.

Then you hear the footsteps....

One of the kids needs something, so you try and settle them on your bed back to sleep. (with all intentions to shuttle them back asap) Well the ruckus has inevitably woken up another child, so you all roll over and make more room and try and settle two kids. (again with all intentions to shuttle them both back asap) They may be some fiery adult gazes over kid heads, or if we are lucky our hands may snake through the bodies to find each other. During all of this laying quietly shushing in the dark, the adults start to nod off. (or kid number 3 fills out the bed)

The kids are all sick. One has a confirmed case of strep throat, and another will be to the doctor within the hour. *sigh* *double sigh* Tis the season.

I have had a great fantasy I may fufill soon. We have a small space under the stairs. It has a door (!) and a deadbolt (!!). I want to set up my own personal dungeon. All I really want is a soft place to fall. Maybe some candles. And some baby monitors. I also think we could use some of those intruder alarms from Radio shack placed along the route between upstairs to the secret hideout. I imagine a bank of closed circuit tvs to monitor the corridors. And maybe some soundproofing, so I can finally scream again when I come.... Ah the fantasies of a sexpot mother of three. :-)

Sex Blog Workflow

We are still hammering out the details of the workflow for this blog. When do we have time to write and post?

I tend to read my favorite blogs on the laptop in the bedroom. This is usually late at night after the kiddos have succumbed to sleep. We have a brief window between the beginning of their sleep and the time in the wee hours when they migrate back into our big bed. On alternate nights, I pass out at nine pm with the kids.

So, although I love reading blogs in my adult time with birdman after we have the bed to ourselves, I like to spend that time acting on the ideas conjured up by the blogs I read. So reading the sex blogs help me shift gears into intimate adult ideas from the bustle of the day. I also tend to be very tired and not the most articulate. (I am writing this at eleven pm so you will see how inarticulate I can be)

The next morning, my eyes open to cries of mama mama mama! I seldom awake before the kids. I am not a morning person as it is, so being a mom in the morning while the coffee kicks in is my most challenging time. (well besides the arsenic hours between 3 and 6 waiting for birdman to come home with fresh legs)

As the coffee kicks in and the fog clears, I often smile and remember the time we had the night before together. Birdman is long gone at work and I am in full time stay home mom space.

I most think of “things that I want to talk about in the blog” when I am driving. I feel most in charge of my day when I am driving the kids somewhere to do something. I have already accomplished getting kids dressed, diaper bag packed, and everyone loaded into the car. We are on our way somewhere and we have a plan.

I find my mind drifting back over the past night. Remembering what things happened and how wonderful it was to connect with birdman. Or I might be lamenting the arrival of a little one right at the wrong moment.

I miss him a great deal in those moments. I wish we were still courting and in college and we could blow off life and just lay bed all day naked. I remember the times we used to have mid morning sex. When we would be tangled up together, warm and moist, the sunbeams filtered through carelessly drawn curtains.

So I have all these ideas of what to write in my sex blog when I am driving kids down the highway in the middle of the day in my minivan. I can’t blog while driving, and the kids just mess up my sex brain.

Seriously, though, it is really hard for me to be my full mature confident sex loving woman when those kids are around. It is not some prudish kind of inhibition either. It is mainly the fact that my brain seems to be getting smaller with each kid. I just cannot multitask so well today. Or my multitasking brain is filled with a million kid and house related disasters to avoid.

I hope to figure this out a bit over the next few weeks. Birdman and I want to find a better rhythm to our sex life and our blog life.

I am going to start drinking my cosmo and let birdman edit this and post it. Then off to the bedroom to see what happens, but I do hear one kid stirring, so who knows what will happen tonight.

Cheers!

The long road home….

I know it has been a long time, and I hope we have not been forgotten!

We finally have another non-work laptop to use for this blog, and to read our favorite blogs.

I so have missed having this part of my life. I have missed reading my blogs every night. I have missed writing in this blog. I have missed being stimulated and stretched. I have missed the enrichment it has brought to my relationship with birdman.

Mainly, I have missed having a place to talk openly about the journey of our intimate life, and a safe place to call home.