Been a while...
Sorry we have been so silent. Falling off the blog horse, so getting back on.
I have been thinking a lot about the anonymity of this blog.
I see that there are two things I really wanted to blog about. The first was about our fairly healthy monogamous (with a little kink thrown in) sex life. How to have that kind of sex life when you have 3 little ones under 5 running around. How to balance being a couple and being parents.
The other reason I wanted to experiment with anonymity was the emotions and growth I have been dealing with being a mom. I never thought I would get married, let alone have kids. I thought maybe some guy would settle for me and I would get married. I did not think about having kids. I did not think about being a mom.
I think a lot of this turmoil and forging my way has to do with the kind of mom I grew up with. She had a hard childhood emotionally, and did not come to motherhood equipped to deal with being a mom.
I wanted a place to explore these issues as they come up. A safe place... The blog with the family picks was just not the place.
However, now I have come to have this dilemma... what if I am "found out"? What if my family and friends find out about this blog?
Well, I honestly could care less if my family and friends know I love to be tied up with lovely red rope. Or that I love giving long lazy blow jobs and I love being fucked from behind in a skirt. And many other things.
However, I am kind of scared (I was going to write terrified, but could not decide if it was hyperbole) of all the "other stuff" being found out. I am not sure if that make sense. I am not sure why it scares me so much.
I think I probably worry too much about what is the right thing to be thinking. Worrying about offending and such. Worrying that if I call the lady who is has been a bitch to me the last month a bitch on my blog she will find out and be mad at me. Or if I write all about this journey of motherhood that the kids will find out how clueless and lost their mom feels.
Something to explore in another blog entry when I am not so bone tired.
I am toying with posting a HNT photo. Have to find the camera and the cable and dl the file. I guess I have about 23 hours to do it! :-)
Thanks for reading.
posted by sweetpea @ 12:31 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Hey Sweetpea. About motherhood, I think we hold ourselves to too high a standard. I know someone, the tenth child, who feels she'll never meet her mom's standards. Thing is, by the time she came along her mom had had 15 years of practice, and by the time she was old enough to start remembering things her mom had had *20!* By the time she left home her mom had had 33 years of practice and only one child left to practice on! I had a chance to talk to some of her older siblings and they had a very different take on things. The point is that the only thing that comes with us is a placenta, not an instruction manual. Every parent finds his or her own way and barring something really going wrong each parent does the very best they know how for their kids. Tell 'em you love 'em, tell 'em about the mistakes you think you make *and* the things you think you get right. They won't always understand right away, but as they mature they'll know.
And as for getting found out? You and your partner are monogamous, good parents, and in love with each other. And proud enough to be honest about it. And confident enough that you're willing to share. And modest enough that you don't want to put your names to it because that might be bragging and people might miss the point you're trying to make: that it's ok to be the way you and your partner are. In fact it's wonderful!
Though I don't think it would be a catastrophe if you were found out, I agree with your decision to stay anonymous.
This is a wonderful blog. Keep it up.
figleaf
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